Sunday School Lesson Outlines

Marriage Equation - Head of the House - Ephesians 5:22-33

This passage of scripture may seem harsh (especially to the wife). However if these verses are interpreted in context the designation for the Head of the House isn't neither harsh nor bias. Instead the command to have the husband as the head of the house is to bring peace and harmony into a marriage. There must be a Head of the Household in case of a tie during a discussion and both the husband and wife feel they are in the right. Someone has to be designated as the Head of the House to make trusted decisions in these circumstances. This is to be done with consideration for all points of view and also with prayer before making a final decision.

1. Verse 22: "Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord." (NASB)

It is stated in God's Word as a command to do so. The example to follow is found in verses 23-24:

• "For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything." (NASB)

This includes finances, assessing housing needs, raising children and many other decisions. Both a family and the Church would not survive if it did not have Jesus to trust in, to lean on and turn to in prayer when making hard decisions.

2. Verse 25-26A: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her ..." (NASB)

This is the challenge God has given men to strive hard in order to achieve. Indeed you are able to love your wife as much as Jesus does His Church. You see Jesus went to the cross so we would be made whole and live in unity. The cross was Jesus public demonstration of His unconditional love for each of us. In turn our response is showing unconditional love to those we care about.

• Verse 28 reads "So husbands ought also to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself" (NASB)

Each husband is commanded to love his wife unconditionally. What is unconditional love?

Unconditional love is filled with:

• Forgiveness
• Praise
• Adoration
• Affirmation
• Encouragement
• Praying for her
• Trust
• Thankfulness
• Honesty
• Spending time together

This is the same passion Christ has for the Church.

3. When husbands pursue unconditional love towards their wife she will eagerly submit to her husband.

It's easier to trust and submit to someone who is loving you like Christ does the Church.

• Verse 33b "The wife must see to it that she respects her husband." (NASB)

Don't ask God to change your husband. Instead ask him to change you and see what a difference that makes. Be open and honest with yourself in these things and your marriage can last and be restored having gone through a valley and come out stronger!

In closing I would like to share with you about my 30 year marriage. There have been many times when my husband had to be the strong one and hold the pieces together. Occasionally it was I that had to hold it as firm as I could. Marriage requires a 100% commitment from both the husband and the wife, not 50% / 50%. It may help you to think of it this way and make more sense. The Bible already tells us life is hard. Don't quit over it. We find in scripture the hope to work through difficult challenges, guidelines to managing conflict and an example of Jesus desires His children to life.

Our God is an awesome God!

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